Some days can be hard. You have a vision of where you want to be and what you should be doing, but you run into difficulties to reach that vision. I’ve struggled with this, especially since moving to Calgary this past fall. I felt I had a good set-up where I used to live and when I came here, I started from scratch.
My supporting boyfriend was my foundation to keep me going. I find myself getting angry and possess attitudes that are not of my usual nature. Total astonishment of how little I am accomplishing on a career level. Comparison of others my age and of similar education and experience, becomes more prominent each day. They say not to compare yourself to others, but to have the mental capacity to do so, is easier said than done. These moments of doubt are killing my oomph and I am completely responsible for it. I have to fight harder. Be stronger. With more failures in life, and the learning that comes with them, comes a stronger appreciation to be had at the end.
Blaming or holding other people responsible for your position in life is a black hole and completely unfair. It is easy to do and to point a finger makes you feel better, even if temporarily. Excuses start to multiply. I don’t want to fall into this black hole. And I won’t.