Question Your Perceptions

We have so many perceptual biases and mental inefficiencies going on, it’s a wonder we can handle heavy machinery. And because of these perceptual inaccuracies, I’ve written about how we must be careful in judging others, and not accept beliefs without some degree of skepticism.

~Mark Manson

The past 381 days have tested my perceptions. I figured the person closest to my rhythmic heart was who they positioned themself to be and that I was unable to read them. For 381 days I beat myself up for not discovering the truth about this person and see them in the light they had seen themself in. Clearly, I was missing something and it bothered me so much that a storm so powerful hit and no amount of preparation, skill or equipment could handle it. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to set sail solo on a sinking ship, and I had only myself to blame.

Why? Because I allowed the most cherished person in my life to convince me I didn’t understand them. That I had fallen short on effort and expectations, and that their perceptual biases were all that mattered. I failed to listen. I failed to learn. I failed to prove myself and our connection.

The irony is that I spent more time focused on what this person perceived, than on myself. My thoughts and beliefs were pushed to the wayside because I was overrun by a stronger presence and the theatrical presentation they gave, finally communicating their perceptions, was ingrained in me. And I was helpless.

These thoughts consumed me and I believed them. Until now.

381 days later and I’ve learned so much.

I’ve learned to question perceptual biases, and see how the other reacts. Those who position themselves clearly and are aware of not only their actions, wants and expectations, but yours too, are those I am intrigued by. I’ve come to learn to spend time and energy with those who want to be with the person I really am. Those that see beyond their own sights. Those that recognize a connection when it organically happens and won’t let anything stop them from pursuing it, and definitely wouldn’t squander it away.

Those, are the strongest people in my eyes. Confident, selfless, and self-aware. And I have shifted my eyes to lay sight on only those who meet me halfway and want to rise strong, together.

Question your perceptions.


2 thoughts on “Question Your Perceptions

  1. Raj says:


    Happen to bump into this post of yours and interesting observation…

    What do other people think of you??… Do they see you in the same way as you see yourself …I have asked myself more than once “Is that really who I am?” or “Is that really the way I seem to people?”

    And I forget.

    I forget that perception is colored by experience — Not only someone’s experience of me, but of their entire life. I am certain that I do seem one way or another to that person. It may be because of what I have done or said. But it is also because of the way they have written me as a character in the story of their life…

    When someone speaks of me, they are only speaking of what their ideas are. I forget that I am not the main character. They do not see my actions or words through my point of view, nor hear my inner dialogue. They do not know my motives. They only know that the character they have written for me is doing or saying something that does or does not fit with their story…

    Just my perception again….

    What do you think???




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