Question Your Perceptions

We have so many perceptual biases and mental inefficiencies going on, it’s a wonder we can handle heavy machinery. And because of these perceptual inaccuracies, I’ve written about how we must be careful in judging others, and not accept beliefs without some degree of skepticism.

~Mark Manson

The past 381 days have tested my perceptions. I figured the person closest to my rhythmic heart was who they positioned themself to be and that I was unable to read them. For 381 days I beat myself up for not discovering the truth about this person and see them in the light they had seen themself in. Clearly, I was missing something and it bothered me so much that a storm so powerful hit and no amount of preparation, skill or equipment could handle it. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to set sail solo on a sinking ship, and I had only myself to blame.

Why? Because I allowed the most cherished person in my life to convince me I didn’t understand them. That I had fallen short on effort and expectations, and that their perceptual biases were all that mattered. I failed to listen. I failed to learn. I failed to prove myself and our connection.

The irony is that I spent more time focused on what this person perceived, than on myself. My thoughts and beliefs were pushed to the wayside because I was overrun by a stronger presence and the theatrical presentation they gave, finally communicating their perceptions, was ingrained in me. And I was helpless.

These thoughts consumed me and I believed them. Until now.

381 days later and I’ve learned so much.

I’ve learned to question perceptual biases, and see how the other reacts. Those who position themselves clearly and are aware of not only their actions, wants and expectations, but yours too, are those I am intrigued by. I’ve come to learn to spend time and energy with those who want to be with the person I really am. Those that see beyond their own sights. Those that recognize a connection when it organically happens and won’t let anything stop them from pursuing it, and definitely wouldn’t squander it away.

Those, are the strongest people in my eyes. Confident, selfless, and self-aware. And I have shifted my eyes to lay sight on only those who meet me halfway and want to rise strong, together.

Question your perceptions.

Stripped Strengths

All of these days you’ve spent on earth have taught you many, many things. Things you’ve learned, witnessed, and developed. These things equate to education and experience, some tangible and some not. They have shaped you into the person you are today and the influence you have had on others and the planet.

All of these things you’ve achieved – education and experience – can never be taken away from you. No one can strip you of your strengths. Hold on to your power and stay true to yourself. Remind yourself of your strengths and keep working toward achieving more. Always learning; always growing. Never stagnant.

If someone doubts your strengths or influences you to question your own, they don’t deserve to have you in their life. Surround yourself with people who make you see the world differently, who push you to be a better person, who show you more beauty in the world than you thought existed, who support you, and who are so confident in themselves that they aren’t afraid to acknowledge your strengths, to you and others.

That is the most admirable strength – recognizing the strengths in yourself, and others.

That to me, is sexy.

 

The Expecting of Expectations

When you do something for someone, do you expect something in return? When you’ve worked hard, do you expect praise for your performance? When you’ve gone out of your way to secretly please someone, are you fishing for acknowledgement?

All of these expectations raise your bar so high, they are bound to fail you at some point. Probably more often than you hope.

Recently I’ve discovered how hidden expectations can shatter relationships and it is a preventable pity. If you feel enthused about doing something for someone, it shows your caring, kind character. But if you draw in your needs and focus on what you should gain, then the magic is lost. Doing selfless deeds is the most rewarding and yet, most challenging because it is hard to calm your inner self and not desire something for you, too. When you drop your expectations and just do something for someone, this I believe will bring you the most happiness. Good intentions included! It may not show right away, or tomorrow, or a month from now, but good deeds do not go unnoticed. Even if they aren’t talked about.

If you do something for someone without an expectation, only then is it considered truly selfless and will bring you fulfillment. Keep spreading your love in whatever ways possible that are genuine and speak the truth about your character, and let those deeds be completely focused on the person(s) you are directing it to. This shows your confidence in yourself, which is noticeably attractive.

The need for praise, acknowledgement or an outcome is your insecure self feeling hungry. Don’t feed it. More harm than good will breakout…

“The best moves in life are made quietly. Don’t talk about it. Just do it and let everyone else talk. Move in silence”