Holding your thoughts hostage and isolating yourself leads to assumptions. Assumptions are stories that have no proof whether they are true or false. So, why would one lead themselves astray into a dark destination that has no solid foundation? May as well be in never-never land…
I’ve noticed that when someone experiences vivid emotions, they either break down or burst. They either take down themselves, quietly, or loudly involve others. Neither is desirable and both can be prevented. The cure then is curiosity and questioning.
Once you’ve realized how you’re behaving and what emotions you’re experiencing (there are more than sad, mad and upset!), next, get curious. Seek the truth in a joint effort, not isolation. Ask questions about yourself and the situation: What is it I believe that is making me feel this way? Do my emotions involve other people?
The more questions you ask, the more information you’ll receive, and the closer the truth will be. Truth puts your mind at ease because there is no room for assumptions. No room for bullshit, stories or myths.
Brené Brown, research professor of vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame, says it best:
Those that pause and ask questions, are those that rise strong. They reckon with emotion. The first step is to recognize you’ve been snagged with emotion and get curious about it.
But how many of you were raised to get curious about your emotions and talk about and explore them? How many of you were told to suck it up and push through? What are you feeling and what do you need to know more about?
Instead of reckoning with emotion, must of us offload it. We push it down. We numb it. We rage. We are much better at inflicting pain than feeling pain.
We are better at causing hurt, than handling hurt.
Instead of trembling, stressing, drafting assumptions, relying on perceptions and making rash decisions, get curious. Slow down, catch your breath, and ask questions.
You aren’t alone. Don’t treat yourself like you are. Seek the truth from those involved, not just from your head.
Call upon curiosity.